Writers Beware: Epidemic
The agency PITS (Peculiar Illnesses Threatening Society) has
identified a new strain of the disease Writeritis. Reaching
epidemic proportions, surpassing even Listservitis and
the ever-pesky Lettertoeditoritis is
Particularly at Risk: Female bibliophiles with young children.
Carrier Bugs: Generally transmitted by the lookseasy, one elderly victim reports raging inflammation after only a brief encounter with the teensy and usually safe readtome fly.
Indication of Bite: A slight swelling or reoccurrence of the thought "I could have written this" or, indicative of the more aggressive strain, "I write better than this."
Disease Progression: SCBWI spills from your mouth without tongue entanglement and you regularly communicate in a language perplexing to common folk. "At the ABA, I met a ALAer whose last YA got 3 stars in PW so I showed her my F&Gs and we crit mss. over lunch."
Pain Relievers: Warning: side effects are unpredictable, and may inflict greater pain. Vary dose, frequency, and combination to determine what works for you.
Only Known Treatment: Write
Remission Probability: Several victims have reported extended periods of relief after signing multiple-book contracts. One male (writing from Niagara Falls) touts his method, "marry a publisher."
Cure: None known. The lucky die with it.
Lindy Rymill is the author of GOOD KNIGHT, a picture book (Henry Holt, 1998), and editor of www.kidsbooklink.org.